His name was David.
I had a part time job in the local mall and he worked in the shop across from me. He was cute, muscular, funny.....and he stared at me ALL day!
I tried....I really did. I tried to be faithful to Mike. We were hot and heavy, everything was great. Hell, I could make this whole blog just about all the exciting things we did. (Don't worry, I will go back and talk about some of those.) But David....there was something about him. Something about the way he stared at me. He had deep set eyes that bore through me and I was paralyzed by his gaze and wet with longing.
I couldn't control my want for me. He knew I had a boyfriend, he had even seen him come into the store I worked at. But I could see the jealously in his eyes...which only turned me on more.
I remember the first time I saw him leaning against my car as I walked out after work. Damn.....
From then on, we became our own private dirty little secret.
I would drive my his house on the way to school to sneak a hug and a kiss. On nights when I worked he waited for me and we began to explore each other. We never "dated" we only made out in the car, or next to the car. I would go out on a date with Mike, only to leave, already wet and satisfied to go see David. We would kiss and I would rub his cock on the outside of his pants until he couldn't take it. He had more restraint than I did and seemed to struggle with the cheating factor. For me, it didn't seem to bother me. That was the first time I really started to wonder what the fuck was wrong with me...I mean I really really wondered. Why did I need this guy, the excitement, the thrill, the cock!
We were lucky enough to grab some times together alone when his parents were out of the house. We got naked fast and explored every inch of each other. He was a wrestler and had the most amazing hard pulsating chest and arms. His legs were so strong when they wrapped around me. His body was so different from Mike's. I loved the variety of sexual pleasure these two completely different boys brought me.
But no one knew. Once again, I found myself back in the same place I had been before. Wanting to be the good little girl, but hiding the fact that I needed more, wanted more. Nothing was enough when it came to men, and attention, and cock, and hands on me. Nothing was enough.....
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Friday, March 4, 2016
Sunday Funday....
Since I was still sold on waiting until marriage to have sex, my experimenting with Mike was high charged.
Of course, we both went to church....good Christian young people that we were, Sunday's were church day! Until....
We found a loop hole for alone time at his parents house.
We would find out when his parents were attending church and then tell them we were going to the earlier service and then out to breakfast after.
This turned into a fun game of cat and mouse. We would go to church long enough to show that we were there...then head back to his house....watch his parents leave and park his car in the garage.
We barely made it in the front doors some Sunday's. Clothes off, well, mostly off some days. Me sprawled out on the entry way floor, him down between my legs, enjoying every last drop of my cum. Emerging wet faced from my legs, we would trade places or do 69. His fingers filling me up on and off when his mouth wasn't. Me, sucking his cock, using my hands to jack him off as I sucked him.
I remember one Sunday especially....
Me, on the kitchen floor, him using all of his fingers in me, but me still crying for more. Then for fun, I had him grab a bag of red licorice off the counter and he began to put them up inside me then eat them out of me...sometimes sharing them with me. It was hot as FUCK! Even thinking back now it still just seemed so dirty.
It was moments like that when I would leave, panties soaked through, flushed face that I would struggle with who I was. Wishing I didn't love it so much, wishing I didn't want more all time time. Wishing I didn't find other boys attractive still....
Wishing I didn't secretly meet with another boy every time I left his house......
Of course, we both went to church....good Christian young people that we were, Sunday's were church day! Until....
We found a loop hole for alone time at his parents house.
We would find out when his parents were attending church and then tell them we were going to the earlier service and then out to breakfast after.
This turned into a fun game of cat and mouse. We would go to church long enough to show that we were there...then head back to his house....watch his parents leave and park his car in the garage.
We barely made it in the front doors some Sunday's. Clothes off, well, mostly off some days. Me sprawled out on the entry way floor, him down between my legs, enjoying every last drop of my cum. Emerging wet faced from my legs, we would trade places or do 69. His fingers filling me up on and off when his mouth wasn't. Me, sucking his cock, using my hands to jack him off as I sucked him.
I remember one Sunday especially....
Me, on the kitchen floor, him using all of his fingers in me, but me still crying for more. Then for fun, I had him grab a bag of red licorice off the counter and he began to put them up inside me then eat them out of me...sometimes sharing them with me. It was hot as FUCK! Even thinking back now it still just seemed so dirty.
It was moments like that when I would leave, panties soaked through, flushed face that I would struggle with who I was. Wishing I didn't love it so much, wishing I didn't want more all time time. Wishing I didn't find other boys attractive still....
Wishing I didn't secretly meet with another boy every time I left his house......
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
He liked me....he really liked me!
I found a boy.
I liked going to parties in high school. Hell, it was the 80's, who didn't. Wine coolers, drunk friends, a hand full of parents who thought they were cool and held the keys. Making out in bathrooms....it was a John Hughes come to life! And I loved it.
One night in October, at the house of a guy I used to date the year before.....
Went with friends.....
Lost the friends....
Needed a ride home and a cute quiet boy volunteered. That was that!
He had a sweet classic car, so we talked about his car. We were both tipsy. There is really no way he should have been driving. I was flirting. I didn't know him. I just knew of him. He was a year older, hung with the popular guys, but out of the group was the more quiet and a little more nerdy than the rest. He hadn't had any girlfriends.... so when he dropped me off....I leaned in a kissed him like no one had before!
We began seeing each other and it was hot and heavy from the start. His name was Mike. I think because he hadn't had a girlfriend before...and I sure had experience...he was more than willing to take my lead.
I am not even sure if we started off slow. I was hot and ready and needing to keep him. This was a good one and he would be the one to help me really be the person I was trying to be. The good girl, with the good looking boyfriend with the good family. I could hide my desires within our relationship. We could have all the hot and sexy adventures we wanted and that would be enough for me.
He loved my tits. I loved his long thin fingers as they explored my pussy. We got to a point where I just begged for more and more fingers until it was just a fist. We dry fucked like rabbits in his small back seat. Looking back now, some of the most intense orgasms I have ever had. Hot and sweaty. Steamed up windows, rocking car and him thrusting until he exploded in his pants. My god those were good nights!
He loved me....I loved him. So with all the hot frantic sexual energy between us it made for a passionate year and a half.
There is a lot to talk about with Mike. We experimented with so many things.....maybe I need to break this one into two parts! ;-)
He was going to be the one to fix me....I was certain.....
I liked going to parties in high school. Hell, it was the 80's, who didn't. Wine coolers, drunk friends, a hand full of parents who thought they were cool and held the keys. Making out in bathrooms....it was a John Hughes come to life! And I loved it.
One night in October, at the house of a guy I used to date the year before.....
Went with friends.....
Lost the friends....
Needed a ride home and a cute quiet boy volunteered. That was that!
He had a sweet classic car, so we talked about his car. We were both tipsy. There is really no way he should have been driving. I was flirting. I didn't know him. I just knew of him. He was a year older, hung with the popular guys, but out of the group was the more quiet and a little more nerdy than the rest. He hadn't had any girlfriends.... so when he dropped me off....I leaned in a kissed him like no one had before!
We began seeing each other and it was hot and heavy from the start. His name was Mike. I think because he hadn't had a girlfriend before...and I sure had experience...he was more than willing to take my lead.
I am not even sure if we started off slow. I was hot and ready and needing to keep him. This was a good one and he would be the one to help me really be the person I was trying to be. The good girl, with the good looking boyfriend with the good family. I could hide my desires within our relationship. We could have all the hot and sexy adventures we wanted and that would be enough for me.
He loved my tits. I loved his long thin fingers as they explored my pussy. We got to a point where I just begged for more and more fingers until it was just a fist. We dry fucked like rabbits in his small back seat. Looking back now, some of the most intense orgasms I have ever had. Hot and sweaty. Steamed up windows, rocking car and him thrusting until he exploded in his pants. My god those were good nights!
He loved me....I loved him. So with all the hot frantic sexual energy between us it made for a passionate year and a half.
There is a lot to talk about with Mike. We experimented with so many things.....maybe I need to break this one into two parts! ;-)
He was going to be the one to fix me....I was certain.....
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Choosing sides.....
After my first encounter I felt empowered! Let's say I didn't have much supervision for various reasons in my life. So there was no one really paying attention to the path I was heading down. (note to parents...pay attention!!!! lol)
The thing I guess that has always been true of me...even to this day, is I lead two lives. I wanted so badly to fit in with the norm of my friends, high school, church, family, that to the outside, I was sweet, innocent, normal...seemingly just your average girl next store. But I struggled with a side of me that felt good, felt strong, felt sexual, felt dangerous and out of control.
In high school I considered myself the "anything but" girl. Could this girl give a blow job or WHAT! I knew my limits. I knew I wasn't ready or willing to have sex. There was still that strong Christian upbringing whispering in my ear that you had to save yourself. I justified my cravings for more by saying to myself that I wasn't going "all the way". So that is who I became.
There was a string of boys. You could pick me apart for years I am sure....yes, I was looking for love, looking for a daddy figure, blah blah blah. But I liked it! So who cares! The boys came and went, most of which started with kissing, graduated on to enjoying my tits, fingering me plenty and ended with blow jobs...always swallowing...always!
Then, the summer before my Junior year, I met a boy named Danny. He was wild, was very experienced and was totally into me! I remember giving him a blow job on the sidewalk next to his house! Crazy!!! (like I said above...parents! watch your kids!!) But the thing that Danny did for me was he treated me to MY first oral. I remember a good friend told me that if it happens...just wiggle around like spaghetti. HA! Well I did at first...but then realized that I could enjoy it...like I had enjoyed many a fingering over the years, there was yet another way for me to be satisfied. I can still picture his face, rising up from the edge of his bed, wet and dripping with me.
After Danny, I knew there was more. I knew there were more ways to hook a guy, ways to keep him, ways to control him and make him want me, or keep me. I may have gotten a little ahead of myself at that point. I think this might be where I really started to be aware of my need for men, for their attention, for their affection, for their desire. But I was only 16 and wasn't really adept at handling it all.
I was dating or seeing or flirting, how ever you want to say it....three guys! Oh it was fun! It kept me happy and excited and thrilled. But without knowing of the other two, just kind of by coincidence....they all dumped me within a few days of each other! You could say I kind of went off the deep end. I made a vow to myself that I would clean up my act, be the person everyone thought I was...walk the straight and narrow!
But going back to what I said about leading two lives.....
Have you seen the show House? Great medical show. But in this show he always says....every body lies. And it's true! We lie to ourselves, we lie to others...not one of us is completely truthful. There are things about us that we all hide. I was living a lie. I tried hard. I dressed the part, went to church on Sunday....but inside I desired more.
You can only lie to yourself for so long......
The thing I guess that has always been true of me...even to this day, is I lead two lives. I wanted so badly to fit in with the norm of my friends, high school, church, family, that to the outside, I was sweet, innocent, normal...seemingly just your average girl next store. But I struggled with a side of me that felt good, felt strong, felt sexual, felt dangerous and out of control.
In high school I considered myself the "anything but" girl. Could this girl give a blow job or WHAT! I knew my limits. I knew I wasn't ready or willing to have sex. There was still that strong Christian upbringing whispering in my ear that you had to save yourself. I justified my cravings for more by saying to myself that I wasn't going "all the way". So that is who I became.
There was a string of boys. You could pick me apart for years I am sure....yes, I was looking for love, looking for a daddy figure, blah blah blah. But I liked it! So who cares! The boys came and went, most of which started with kissing, graduated on to enjoying my tits, fingering me plenty and ended with blow jobs...always swallowing...always!
Then, the summer before my Junior year, I met a boy named Danny. He was wild, was very experienced and was totally into me! I remember giving him a blow job on the sidewalk next to his house! Crazy!!! (like I said above...parents! watch your kids!!) But the thing that Danny did for me was he treated me to MY first oral. I remember a good friend told me that if it happens...just wiggle around like spaghetti. HA! Well I did at first...but then realized that I could enjoy it...like I had enjoyed many a fingering over the years, there was yet another way for me to be satisfied. I can still picture his face, rising up from the edge of his bed, wet and dripping with me.
After Danny, I knew there was more. I knew there were more ways to hook a guy, ways to keep him, ways to control him and make him want me, or keep me. I may have gotten a little ahead of myself at that point. I think this might be where I really started to be aware of my need for men, for their attention, for their affection, for their desire. But I was only 16 and wasn't really adept at handling it all.
I was dating or seeing or flirting, how ever you want to say it....three guys! Oh it was fun! It kept me happy and excited and thrilled. But without knowing of the other two, just kind of by coincidence....they all dumped me within a few days of each other! You could say I kind of went off the deep end. I made a vow to myself that I would clean up my act, be the person everyone thought I was...walk the straight and narrow!
But going back to what I said about leading two lives.....
Have you seen the show House? Great medical show. But in this show he always says....every body lies. And it's true! We lie to ourselves, we lie to others...not one of us is completely truthful. There are things about us that we all hide. I was living a lie. I tried hard. I dressed the part, went to church on Sunday....but inside I desired more.
You can only lie to yourself for so long......
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